I’ve been spending a lot of time with my thoughts lately and feeling a bit apprehensive about sharing them – I think about when I started my blog – the same day I started my experience with grief. My mom and dad were going to the first of what would become endless doctors appointments and…
Category: For Jim
Dreams About My Dad
When my dad passed away in November – my life changed forever – I remember writing about it once, how my life would always be separated into two parts, the time before and the time after my dad died – I’m now living in the part after my dad died. Grief is an emotion that’s…
Life Without My Dad
On Christmas Eve, I watched Anderson Cooper interview Stephen Colbert and maybe that was my dad’s gift to me this Christmas, because suddenly I could find the words, when before there weren’t any. I didn’t know how to put it into words, how the world feels without him, how I feel without him, but what…
Seasons – Spring & Summer
Spring In the spring of Jim LeCain’s life, before he was ever Jim LeCain, a blonde baby with baby blue eyes was born in Brooklyn, New York. A baby boy born to two older brothers, both of whom would grow up to be called Chuck. He was born to a father who would go on…
Father’s Day
It’s Father’s Day and I’ve got the Father’s Day blues because I don’t know how many more, if any more, Father’s Days we’ve got, me and you. People are posting pictures of dads at barbecues, and dads on wedding days during father-daughter dances, and everyone else’s dad seems happy and healthy and I don’t know…
I Thought You Were Gone
That morning, I thought you were gone. I thought that I’d never live through the 20th of September without thinking, the day my dad died. When mom called me, at 3 am, I thought for sure, this was the end. I called Darren sobbing, and drove myself to the hospital, crying and breathing hysteric breaths the…
Mother Mary
When I find myself in times of trouble, Mother Mary comes to me, speaking words of wisdom, let it be. There are days that my dad and I have everything in common, from our blue eyes, to the fact that he lost his father when he was young, and I am losing mine. My father…
One Last Christmas
When I was little, my mom would set up a Christmas village every year. In the dining room, on top of a table, I would find myself lost for hours looking at that little village. Tea light candles filled perfect Christmas houses, with perfect Christmas wreaths, and perfect Christmas people. There was a girl with…
The James J LeCain School Of Liberal Arts
Yesterday, I drove to the job that my dad retired from last year. I took all the same turns that he did for so many years. I passed the gas station where he would fill up his tank and the diner that my dad would stop at for a breakfast sandwich and a coffee on…
Fear and Falling
On Saturday, when my mom shook me awake, I didn’t have time to think, it was fight or flight, and I flew down the stairs before she finished saying that he had fallen. I don’t remember which stairs I skipped with my too long legs, or which ones groaned underneath my too big feet. As…
Hudson Valley Dog Mom 